Politics and Chicken Pox

Mother Hen normally avoids “the politics” the way humans avoid the chicken pox, and with good reason. Both are contagious, potentially dangerous, and make people cranky.  Once infected, some even become feverish and unstable. Otherwise sensible, normal-looking folks breakout in spots and arguments all over. Very messy, the both of them, and after all Mother tries to run a clean coop.

However, watching the caca fly over the US of A lately, she is compelled to comment, lest this political plague destroy all semblance of order and good taste, two virtues which Mother Hen holds very dear.

Why is it that the moment the politics virus invades a perfectly lovely conversation, a charming human being turns into Dumbo the elephant or Donkey the Jackass? Apparently, the politics turns people’s brains into mush and puts their tongues into overdrive. This is quite unattractive and tends to get spit on one’s feathers.

Get a grip, people! Take a pill, or an enema, or a toxic cleanse – whatever it takes to get the nasty political bug out of your system, then for heaven’s sake, stay away from other humans with signs of infection! There, doesn’t that feel better? Mother knows best, you see.

Now repeat after Mother Hen:

I shall not, under any circumstances, allow the politics to transform me into a raving maniac.

 I will show respect for others, no matter how wrong I think they are.

 I will by no means stoop to slinging mud, or any other nasty substances, at my fellow Americans, no matter their race, creed, gender, sexual preference, or political affiliation, because it only makes my hands stinky, and because nice and polite is the right way to be.

I will, even if it feels like swallowing cod liver oil, consider the possibility that I might be…actually be…wrong…about some things…maybe.

I will not hate any one, because that is a slippery slope that leads directly into the cow paddies of life.

I will not tell untruths to win an argument, because Mother Hen (or if she is busy clucking elsewhere, my conscience) will track me down and peck me for the rest of my natural life and beyond.

I will not believe everything I hear, since that is the fastest way to acquire and spread the politics, especially if the statement in question comes from an obviously biased source. In fact, I will check my facts before I consider them facts at all.

So help me the Liberty Bell, Plymouth Rock, the Statue of Liberty, the Declaration of Independence, and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Now, if you will excuse Mother, she is needed to establish world peace, restore the ozone layer, eradicate other diseases, and feed the poor. She hates to keep Presidents Clinton and Bush, Vice-President Gore, Mr. Gates, and Mr. Bono waiting.

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7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Vicki on July 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    What a delightful and straightforward talk of the extremists among us. Its not that politics are in and of themselves bad…in spite of what many may say. It is the personal attacks that seem to become a part of the ‘discussions’. Ever notice the physical display of anger and anxiety in those participating in most political rants? I have and want to never be one who is intolerant to the point of deeming only I can be right and those who disagree with me are wrong. Lord grant me serenity and the intelligence to use the political arena in the way it is intended in this wonderful US of A. Its called voting.

    Reply

    • Dear Vicki,
      Very sensible of you, dear!
      Politics may or may not be such a bad thing, but catching the politics is known to have all sorts of nasty side effects, such as sweating, slobbering, eye-rolling, and irrational and even violent behavior! Are these the physical displays to which you refer? Mother H. doesn’t know about you, but she thinks that these symptoms sound an awful lot like rabies, which naturally is to be avoided at all costs.
      Mother Hen is sure that you are delightful and straightforward as well!
      Yours in political neutrality,
      Mother Hen

      Reply

  2. Oh Mother Hen… I was checking the site (been too busy lately), saw your last comment and had to come see what you’d written. I do so love your style!

    I try avoid “the politics” for the most part, but sometimes I do get just a bit of a fever. It’s so much better/easier to stick to posting naughty jokes, and lovely pictures of bras and shoes…. some might even call that the best way to prevent those nasty viruses like “the politics”!

    Reply

    • Dear fracas,
      Mother Hen is sure that she loves your style, too, although she can’t remember ever seeing a goose in a lovely knitted sweater vest such as she is sporting in her pictorial illustration.
      She is appreciative that as a fellow Canadian bird you did not object to the stars and stripes theme of the above-mentioned garment. When in Rome, you know, etc., etc.!
      Mother also wishes to mention her most humble gratitude at being added to fracas’s blogroll. While she was crushed when Chelsea’s invitation was obviously lost in the US Postal System, it is lovely to know that she can still count on some of her friends to include her on their social calendars!
      Ta-ta, my dear!
      Mother Hen

      Reply

      • I can’t speak for all of them (since some Canadian Geese land in places south of the border and proceed to do little more than leave droppings all over their neighbours…) but this goose not only does not object to the stars and stripes of her neighbours, but quite loves and appreciates them as she wishes more Canadian Geese did.

        (I meant to add you earlier and thought I had.. but have been a bit disjointed the past while… had a family death, and some other bigger issues to deal with. I guess the fraccy brain was just not as organized as it used to be. Noticed you were not on it the other night and had to slap myself a bit.)

        Reply

  3. Dear fracas,
    Thank you for slapping yourself and saving Mother Hen the trouble!
    You are graciously forgiven and restored to full rights and privileges as a member of the Chick with Brains Fan Club.
    Yes, we Canadian fowl do well to befriend our southern neighbors, since they help keep our airspace safe and could blow us out of the water at any time they please. (Well, they could blow you out of the water: Mother Hen prefers to keep her feathers dry at all times.)
    Your fellow Canadian,
    Mother Hen

    Reply

  4. […] it is Junior Rooster who is caught the sports, which is almost as bad as catching the politics, (see Politics and Chicken Pox) but with less voting. The youngest member of the Coop family has suddenly gone all macho over the […]

    Reply

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