Mother Hen Presents: The Marbles for Vanity Fair Campaign

Mother Hen is completely gobsmacked (otherwise known as utterly astounded).
She never dreamed that she would use that term in connection with herself, but there it is. What, you ask, has brought MH to such a state of shock and incredulity?
Shocker #1  Lady Gaga is on Vanity Fair‘s best dressed list!
Unbelievable! Mother Hen thought that she had seen all the potentially ridiculous displays that modern fashion could devise, but since when does a woman who attends a baseball game with her bra in full view merit a commendation for personal style?
Next Mother supposes that the drug-crazed street-walker look that Gaga sports will be on the racks in the kiddie aisles at Wal-Mart!

 What? It is already there? Excuse Mother Hen while she reaches for her smelling salts!

Beware all motorists! Eyesight reducing Mardi Gras masks will heretofore be worn in all seasons. Exercise extreme caution! Oh wait, Mother Hen forgot — all the car drivers of the world are wearing them as well. Well, Mother can assure you that this is one chicken who will not be caught crossing the road any time soon!

Shocker #2  Lady Gaga is not only on Vanity Fair‘s best dressed list, she is on the COVER of the Best Dressed Edition.

The only thing saving Mother Hen from a complete apoplectic fit is the amazing irony of it all: Gaga, who is supposedly so well coutured, sports not one apparent stitch of clothing as she poses on the best dressed cover!

The fashionistas at VF have, quite clearly, completely lost their marbles. That being apparent, Mother Hen would like to suggest that we all send them any we can spare, even if just one, in their hour of need.

Address your marbles to:

Mr. Graydon Carter

Editor-in-Chief, Vogue Magazine,

c/o The Conde Nast, Inc.

4 Times Square, 7th Floor,

New York, NY 10o36

Please include a short note explaining why his fashion editors are in need of your marbles (as if it isn’t obvious enough!).

Thank you for supporting this worthy cause!

Yours sartorially,

Mother Hen

UPDATE:  Tee-hee-hee!!! Lady Gaga wore a meat dress to the VMAs!!! Now Vanity Fair really does have egg on its collective faces!!!! Keep those marbles coming people — the fashionistas at VF are in dire need!

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6 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by asdexter on August 4, 2010 at 2:20 am

    Perhaps you haven’t considered the new fashion of invisible clothing! It sells really well on the model, but for some reason, the people in the stores just seem to pass right by the racks. I guess I can’t really see this fashion fad materializing into a fashion statement visible to the main stream shopper.

    Reply

  2. Dear asdexter,
    Invisible clothing! Yes! That must be it!
    “The Emperor has no clothes!” and neither does Lady Gaga!
    Mother Hen certainly hopes that nakedness does not become a popular trend as she hates seeing humans with their feathers off. It gives her chills just thinking about it!
    Fashionably yours,
    Mother Hen

    Reply

    • Fracas has a relative who happens to think ‘naked neck’ chickens are rather cute. If we could only convince Lady Gaga to stick to the ‘naked neck’ look, perhaps we could all save Canada Post the trouble of losing our marbles? Since fracas often receives mail delivered to her that belongs to chickens from other coops… fracas is pretty sure Canada Post can and will lose our marbles if we try send them to Mr. Carter all the way in New York.

      Reply

      • Dear Ms. Fracas,
        Mother Hen finds Canada Post causes her to lose her marbles on a semi-regular basis. Maybe it would be safer to send eggs?
        She will state that at no point has she intentionally, or unintentionally, endorsed the services, or lack thereof, of the National Postal Service of any country. My dear chicks, use whatever delivery service your little pea-pickin’ hearts desire!
        Thank you, Ms. Fracas, for the opportunity to clarify this matter!
        Not Going Postal,
        Mother Hen

        Reply

  3. Thank you very much for sharing this. I have subscribed to your RSS feed. Please keep up the good work.

    Reply

    • Dear Sir or Madam Ladder,
      Mother Hen welcomes you to her nest! The coop door is always open to individuals of good taste and refinement like yourself.
      Mother would also like to reassure you that her good work will continue as long as she has a beak to peck with!
      Your Literary Idol,
      Mother Hen

      Reply

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