Mother Hen’s Holiday Newsletter: Draft 1

Happy Holidays from the Coop!

All the members of the Coop family have had an

disastrous horrific eventful year full of

unfortunate mishaps serious disappointments interesting adventures!


Missy Hen is growing up too fast into a darling chick with a new

punk young rooster friend hanging around keeping her company these days.

She didn’t get into failed the entrance exam chose not to attend beauty school this fall after all,

and is currently moping around the coop taking a year off considering her options for the future.


Junior Rooster has finally unexpectedly graduated from Chickengarten,

and will be confined to  attending  homeschooled by Mother Hen in the New Year.

He is an aggressive assertive energetic young’un

who bullies smaller chicks is displaying leadership potential on the yard.


Father Rooster fell off the roof suffered an unfortunate workplace accident in the summer

but after a bit of time in rehab the hospital is back to crowing in the mornings

whenever he isn’t hungover  when he feels up to it.

Farmer Brown has read him the riot act stated how important Father’s work is to the whole farm community. It is nice to know that Father is appreciated like that!


Mother Hen is overworked underpaid writing her new blog

when she gets around to it regularly,

in between getting rejection notices sending out her work to prospective publishers.

She has been throwing out crap redecorating the coop and plans to repaint the walls as soon as she can find them. Hopefully it will be presentable in time for the holiday season.

From our coop to yours, our best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Oh and Happy Hanukkah and Kwanza and Eid and anything else anyone celebrates, too!

11 responses to this post.

  1. Your newsletter looks a lot like our newsletter.

    But with more chickens.


    • Dear Ms. Lori,
      It isn’t what you put in that counts it’s what you leave out!
      Mother Hen’s newsletter gets shorter every year.
      Briefly yours,


      • Posted by fracas on October 25, 2010 at 1:56 am

        Ours is so short already, that I don’t even send one!

        (But, goodness if we all don’t have the same punk young rooster friend issues with our young chicks…)


        • Young chicks are drawns to losers spirited young roosters like flies to a pile of caca!
          Mother Hen recommends the following mantra, “I am not going to freak out. Everything will turn out okay. This too shall pass!” to be repeated three times a day or as needed.


  2. I’m so glad you directed me to your post. I’ve stopped writing my family newsletter, but I think maybe with using your great editing skills I may see a 2010 version on the horizon. The Agronomist would love all the references to chickens, but I wouldn’t know a chick from a rooster so I may have to “scratch” that part : )


    • Dear Ms. Dana,
      Mother Hen is glad you came! There is always room for more chicks in the nest!
      MH is sure that your 2010 family newsletter will be just lovely, dear. Things have come so far from the days when we had to use white-out! When it got on your wings, it was bad enough, but once it ended up on your beak…well, it was just plain embarassing.
      Sweetie, if you haven’t figured out the difference yet, Mother is not going to be the one to educate you. There are classes for that, you know. Were you away that day in school?
      Anyway, it was a pleasure to see you. Please come back to the coop anytime!
      Graciously yours,
      Mother Hen


  3. I’ve never sent out a Holiday Newsletter…I’m glad you reminded me of this early enough for me to get a good start on mine! Of course, most of my family reads my blog, and the LAST thing they want to lay their eyes on in their mailbox is ANOTHER long, tedious story about how overwhelmed I am as a mother! So, I’ll try to mix it up a bit!

    Thanks for all your advice and kind words.



    • Dear Ms. Z,
      No pressure, dear! Not everyone can be as (devious) organized as MH, you know.
      Mother is always happy to share with her darling chicks!
      Generously yours,
      Mother Hen


  4. I have almost the exact same newsletter to send out – I’m shocked at the amount of people who have had such a sucky, I mean, challenging year. Here’s to 2011!


    • Dear Ms. Christine,
      Welcome to Mother Hen’s Nest! Mother is delighted to have another chick in the coop!
      Now, dear, it is alright to have a challenging year just as long as everybody doesn’t know about it. Discretion is a second-cousin-once-removed to virtue, you know!
      Discretely yours,
      Mother Hen


  5. […] To compare to the Original draft of the Coop Family Newsletter (which you absolutely must do), see Mother Hen’s Holiday Newsletter: First Draft. […]


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