Things That Are Stupid

Mother Hen finds strange, silly stuff all the time: on the TV, in her People magazines (How else is a chicken supposed to study human behavior?), in conversations with the house cats, and especially when visiting with her friend Jodi Edwards Wright, who oddly enough, notices a lot of weird things as well.

What confounds MH is how much stupid stuff people see or say every day without remarking on how it is all so bizarre! Mother Hen suggests that more folks get their eyes and ears checked regularly.

  • First, MH must confess that a list of stupid things is in itself stupid, as things can’t be stupid – humans (and occasionally, animals) on the other hand…
  • White cats named Mittens
  • BOGO should be BOGOF*
  • How can people reconcile if they never conciled in the first place?
  • “Arkansas” Why is it pronounced like “ark and saw?” Mother Hen has it on good authority that Noah never lived there.
  • Pink Lego
  • “Borrowed time” Where can MH get some, and what is the interest rate?
  • People looking nonchalant while their dogs go poop
  • Naming body parts  Seriously! That is what the medical profession is there for.
  • Unrefrigerated Jello Cups  This is just wrong, people.
  • Edible oil products Ditto
  • Plastic banana protectors
  • Fake flies on pants or PJs
  • Toy vacuums  Who do you think you’re kidding? Even two-year-olds realize it’s work!
  • Air bands MH may be dating herself, but she remembers when Milli Vanilli got in big trouble for this.
  • Newlyweds smashing cake in each other’s faces  Now there’s a way to start “happily ever after.”
  • Worms They are both male and female and if you slice them they don’t die. Now, doesn’t that sound like some movie starring Sigourney Weaver?
  • Getting autographs from Disney characters
  • Comb-overs
  • Plastic corks Shouldn’t they be called “plorks?” They certainly aren’t cork anymore.
  • “Casual formal” What is that, jeans and a tie?
  • Worst song lists that exclude “Disco Duck”

*Buy One Get One Free

Mother Hen is confident that there will be no shortage of material, should she ever wish to do a “Things That Are Stupid 2.”


8 responses to this post.

  1. Yes. Unrefrigerated jello cups are a crime against nature.

    And…plastic banana cups? Isn’t that what the banana peel is for?


  2. Ms. Lori, you read Mother Hen’s thoughts exactly!


  3. I think the same thing every time I see a BOGO commercial. So annoying.

    People get autographs from Disney characters? That is crazy. A picture I understand, but an autograph makes no sense.


  4. Dear Ms. Tracie,
    Some of us are blessed with a painfully sharp awareness to deatail. It is our burden to bear. Sigh!
    Mother Hen’s dear friend, Jodi Edwards Wright, once went to Disneyworld with her family, many eons ago. While there, her young daughter chose as a souvenir an autograph book designed to collect
    signatures from the Disney characters liberally scattered about the park. Very cute, right?
    Cute until you have to stand in line in front of every Minnie, Mickey, Cinderella, Snow White, etc., etc. in the broiling sun (it was July), when logically it would make sense to be standing in an even longer line for a ride or an attraction.
    Ten years later, of course, she was embarrassed at how gulliable she was, and threw it away. Still, it is an amusing memory, isn’t it?
    MH bets it is especially amusing to whoever came up with the idea of selling those autograph books in the first place!
    Chucklingly yours,
    Mother Hen


  5. I was just discussing the fact that I have to buy one of those stupid banana keepers! My Sarah is a freak about banana bruises, and that is the only way I see getting her to eat fruit in her lunch next year. And banana’s are the only fruit she eats. So, stupidity, here I come!


    • Dear Ms. Kim,
      You mean those things do have a practical application?
      Mother Hen wishes to make clear that she referred to the banana keepers as stupid, not the people buying them. A technicality, admittedly, but one does have to stay one step ahead of the libel laws when one is a famous typing chicken!
      Legalistically yours,
      Mother Hen


  6. I concur with your current list and suggest you check out the fraccy facebook page for a fabulous f-word to start your next list with. 😉


    • If Mother Hen could find the frackin’ thing, she would! Do you have any idea how many Fracases are on Facebook?

      P.S. Some guy named Sam Fracas has stolen your logo!


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