Mother Hen Goes to the Oscars!

Okay, well, she isn’t there yet, but it could happen! A chicken can dream, can’t she?

Every year without fail, Mother Hen has her beak practically super-glued to her 52” widescreen plasma Sony TV (product placement, anyone?), ogling the red carpet offerings, chuckling at the best witticisms and cheering for the only nominees that she has actually managed to see. It is tough to be a movie buff that can’t get out to the cinema, darlings!

Of all the best picture contenders, MH has managed to see Inception (don’t ask how!) and…well, not one of the others, yet, but she will, one of these years. Anyway, her favorite movie of 2010 (so far) was cruelly left out of the winner’s circle at the Golden Globes, despite its incredible visual impact, complex script and the presence of Leonardo DiCaprio, who is, in this expert’s opinion, a pretty fair specimen for a human. (Ahem.)

Now, Inception’s director, what’s-his-name, has been left off the list for Best Director! If MH could remember who the heck he is, she would send him a sympathy card.

Mother Hen has seen Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland too, if for no other reason than that she would pay good money to watch Johnny Depp chew gum…or chocolate bars…or scenery. Even though Mr. Depp was scandalously overlooked by the Academy, at least our Johnny got nominated for two Golden Globes, so MH is somewhat pacified.

Yes, Mother H. has also seen Toy Story 3, but contrary to a nasty rumor going around the barnyard, she did not cry. No, that was a certain adult rooster nearby who shall remain nameless. After all, any mother of a child under the age of ten with intact eardrums had to get the DVD or go completely bonkers from hearing about it. Junior Rooster pronounced the third installment, “Totally wicked!” which apparently means it didn’t suck. Yes, the Coop family will be rooting for Buzz, Woody, and friends yet again this year.

One other film, which Mother Hen has not seen, but will be rooting for is Incendies, an entry in the best Foreign Film category. Why? As a proud Canadian, it is the least she can do! However, she does need to clear up a bit of a mix-up. Incendies is filmed in French, which is why it is eligible as a Foreign Film. Mother Hen, as you may have noticed, types in English. (Very observant of you!) So, is Canada an English-speaking country or French? *

Please excuse Mother Hen, as she needs to go and check her mailbox once again. The Academy should be sending her invitation anytime now.



*Both! Fooled you!

What, you knew that? Well, good for you! Kudos from Mother Hen!


4 responses to this post.

  1. A colleague of mine lived next to a lottery winner.

    The lottery winner, seeing as how she won a gazillion dollars, would take trips to Rodeo Drive and shop once in a while. As you do, when you are a lottery winner.

    The designer in these swank shops want people to be seen wearing their gowns. Even if they are not famous.

    So on behalf of one of these designers, she was invited to the Oscars. She sat in the back, where all the riff-raff were, but the question, of course, is WHO THE HECK CARES??

    So the moral of the story is: play the lottery.


  2. Dear Ms. Lori,
    Thank you for your insightful advice!
    Now MH just has to find a human who can purchase lottery tickets for her! Are you available?
    Fortunately yours,
    Mother Hen


  3. Leonardo DiCaprio? Isn’t he like… 12? 😉


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