Rabbits and Chickens and Eggs, Oh My!

Thank goodness Mother Hen can sit and peck at the same time!

This is the busiest season of the year for chickens. MH has heard that some of you call it Lent, but she has never figured out what it is that folks are supposed to borrow. We call it Pushover – as in push out all the eggs you can sister, until your quota is met and Easter is over!

Mother Hen would like to address some mistaken ideas humans have about this whole Easter Bunny thing. You must understand that the Rabbit Union is the CAW of the animal word. Oh yes, they look fluffy and harmless, but just try to outsource egg delivery and see what happens to you. MH is not saying that rank-and-file rabbits are telling fibs – she values her life. Let’s simply say that the Bunnies United Delivery Service (BUDS) has one heck of a publicist.

Myth #1

Rabbits lay eggs.

Seriously? People, you have been watching way too many Cadbury commercials. Rabbits are mammals, you dummies! Good grief, they have fur – how many clues do you need? Yeesh!

Bunnies are the delivery system, not the production system. Why rabbits, you ask? Volume, baby, volume! When you’ve just got to get it there overnight…you need gazillion carriers. Add to that the reputation of rabbits for relatively speedy arrivals and the choice was clear.

Myth #2

Chickens don’t lay chocolate eggs.

As you all know, brown cows make chocolate milk, so guess what brown chickens lay? You betcha!

Brown chickens have special status in the poultry community. We all teach our chicks to stay at a respectful distance from their ladyships. Mother Hen has never been sure whether that was a matter of respect, or because chocolate-laying chickens tend to have mucky back feathers. Yuck!

Myth #3

Chocolate rabbits, chickens, Garfields and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, etc., all come from the same sources as chocolate eggs.

Ouch! That would be painful!

Have you ever wondered what Santa’s elves do for a living during their off season? Uh-huh. Not that you heard that here, mind you. Santa is big on internal security – which is what reindeer do when they aren’t flying all over the place, pooping on people. Those hooves aren’t only for decoration!

Myth # 4

People don’t buy regular eggs at Easter.

Hey, the Ukrainians alone up the demand by almost 20%! All those little egg-dying kits account for another 45% increase, and then we have to make up for bunny breakage rates, which amount to… wait a minute, BUDS Bunnies may be watching.  Scrap that – rabbits do not break eggs, not ever. They have special baskets lined with…um, bunny fur, that’s right, and they have a perfect delivery record. Quite remarkable really!

Now you understand why Mother Hen is working her butt feathers off trying to meet her production target on what would otherwise be a lovely spring morning!  If you could spare a passing thought for all the hard-working chickens of the world in the next few weeks, we would surely be grateful. After all, those eggs don’t lay themselves!

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9 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by everevie on March 22, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    I’m confused Mother Hen…do the brown chickens lay chocolate eggs like, say, the Cadbury sort…with the delicious yummy goopy goo inside? Or do they lay hollow eggs? (Or chocolate eggs with baby chickens inside?)

    I must say…there is nothing quite so divine as a Cadbury Egg.

    Reply

  2. Dear Ms. Evie,
    What a delightfully clever question!
    Cadbury-type eggs are lain by brown and yellow hens, my dear.
    Hollow chocolate eggs come from brown chickens.
    No chocolate eggs have baby chickens in them — no, no, no.
    Mother Hen is already anticipating your next question, “Where do brown chickens come from if brown hens lay hollow chocolate eggs?”
    Brown chickens come from brown eggs, of course! Haven’t you always wondered why some eggs are brown?
    It’s all about recessive genes and complicated stuff like that, apparently.
    Educationally yours,
    Mother Hen

    Reply

  3. laughing and laughing! thanks

    Reply

  4. Dear Ms. Sana,
    Why hello there! New chicks are always welcome at the nest!
    Happy to provide a little comic relief!
    Obligingly yours,
    Mother hen

    Reply

  5. Posted by everevie on March 24, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    Mother Hen…my parents used to own chickens that laid greenish-blue eggs. I’m curious about what kind of chicken comes from them.

    Reply

  6. […] About « Rabbits and Chickens and Eggs, Oh My! […]

    Reply

  7. I think you might be wrong about myth #1. Sure, bunnies are mammals, but so are platypuses (platypi?) and they lay eggs, though not usually the chocolate kind. I propose there may be a certain bunny sub-species that does in fact lay chocolate eggs during the Easter season.

    Reply

    • Dear Mr. Binky,
      Interesting theory!
      If you ever meet a chocolate-egg-laying bunny, Mother Hen and National Geographic would both love to hear from you.
      Curiously yours,
      Mother Hen

      Reply

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