Spring Should Be Punctual!

Mother Hen is not, by anyone’s definition, a spring chicken.

Nevertheless, that does not mean that she is willing to wait forever for spring.  There are conventions which need to be followed, timetables that must be met and eggs that must be laid.

“March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb.”

Now here is a perfect example of a time-honored principle. The rule is, March is allowed to begin all nasty and cold, but it must end up sunny and warm. If Judge Judy were in charge of the weather, dang it, Mother Hen would currently be basking in the gentle breezes and cheery light of early April. Judge J would tell the weather forecasters to quit peeing on MH’s lovely yellow leg and telling her it is raining. There were flippin’ flakes flying through the air the other day, and Mother wants to see some accountability!

“Mad as a March Hare”

Seriously, can you blame the bunnies for being a bit POed at this point? If there is anything madder than a March hare, it is an April rabbit with frost-bitten ears.

“Spring to life”

What this is supposed to mean literally is that Spring brings new life, ergo anything coming to life is “springing.” Cute, isn’t it? Well, it would be freaking adorable if the eggs for this year’s brood could incubate. Keeping those suckers warm is worse than a fulltime job at the present. Shift one feather to the left and before you know it, egg #1,782 is colder than a snake’s belly on a frosty morning. At the rate this is going, Sonny, Pia and Biff are going to have to hatch next year!

“April showers bring May flowers”

Hey, you meteorologists out there! “Showers” mean rain, okay, so cancel that order at Home Depot. Show Mother Hen some love and call up a wee sweet sprinkling of tiny droplets to wake up the tulips, and quit dumping frost all over the place! The birdies are up to their sturdy little beaks with frozen food.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.”

Here Mother Hen brings in the really big guns! This is a quote from the Bible, people, Old Testament even:  Ecclesiastes 3:1 The Big Guy Himself says that the seasons should be on time, for heaven’s sake, or at least something like that. Mother Hen has the greatest of respect for her Creator, and so should the weather, don’t you think? Absolutely!  Right now April is blowing a raspberry in the direction of the Almighty, and she should know better. Don’t be surprised if we have a short Spring, and it will be all April’s fault. You read it here first!


6 responses to this post.

  1. So funny!

    Fingers crossed your April gets warmer – or goes quickly!


  2. Dear Ms. Megan,
    Mother Hen thanks you kindly and wants to welcome you to the nest! There is always room for new chicks.
    Apparently April is listening…so far.
    Mother Hen and Mother Nature may be able to get along after all!
    Naturally yours,
    Mother Hen


  3. I agree! The weather has been extremely inconsistent where I live too! It was 80 degrees 3 weeks ago, then it dropped to mid-forties, then it SNOWED for a day, then it rained for a week straight and now it’s been about 60s this week, which I guess is finally leveling out. But it’s tough on the body, I’ll tell you that!


  4. Dear Ms. B.,
    Mother Hen has only been able to dream of 80 degree weather, but she will not begrudge you yours. No, no, she is much too mature for that (and by mature she means old).
    MH does agree 110% that unseasonable weather is tough on the ol’ bod though. Her chickenflesh has been suffering from goosebumps for months!
    Shiveringly yours,
    Mother Hen


  5. Posted by everevie on April 11, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Well Mother Hen…I have nothing to complain about. It’s been beautiful, sunny and mid-80’s for weeks now. Of course, if you ask me how things are going in mid-July…I will most likely be frying eggs on the sidewalk. 🙂


  6. Dear Ms. Evie,
    That sounds like a waste of good eggs.
    Thriftily yours,
    Mother Hen


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