Mother Hen Puts Christmas In Its Place

Dear Chicks,

Mother Hen loves Christmas – in December!

She does not approve of Christmas beginning on the 1st of November.

In the spirit of the season (which happens to be fall, darn it!), Mother H. has the following demands suggestions:

Let’s all wait until every last leaf is on the ground before using the four-letter “s” word , the one for that fluffy white stuff that comes all too soon as it is.

No Santa Claus commercials until after the Santa Claus parades are over.

Anyone who turns on their Christmas lights before November 15 has volunteered to have their front yard covered with rotting, smashed Jack O’Lanterns.

No Christmas muzak before…oh, heck, let’s make it until chickens have lips!

Anyone who says “Merry Christmas” in the next three weeks will be should have must not…just don’t do it, okay? Mother Hen may have a conniption, and believe her, that ain’t pretty!

Let’s all rip out every Christmas advertisement from all our magazines (including Mother Hen’s favorite, Chicken Scratches, The Magazine for Superior Hens) and send them back to where they came from! That is unless they have scrumptious recipes for grub omelets, in which case just cut them out and turn down the holiday side.

Christmas shopping should be banned postponed restricted to…oh, dang it, any shopping is good shopping, right?

Now that we have the ground rules established, chickies, Mother Hen expects all of you to behave accordingly. After all, we must have standards, people!

Determinedly yours,

Mother Hen

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2 responses to this post.

  1. I had my first Christmas card sent to me in September. I had to check I hadn’t slipped and fallen into an alternate dimension where Chistmas happens all year round.

    Reply

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