Hello? Mr. Trump sir? Is that you? Mr. Donald Trump, The Apprentice guy?
Yes, it is a great honor. Yes, I understand that you are an extremely busy man.
No, I don’t know Big Bird personally. Do you? Of course you do…certainly, everyone knows that you know everyone. Fascinating.
Mother Hen did love your Saturday Night Live appearance in a chicken suit. Very natural. You’re welcome.
Yes, she used to follow The Apprentice avidly. Before, when the candidates really won something. Sure, of course celebrities are much more entertaining. No doubt.
Mr. Trump, Mother Hen called to ask you the question the whole world wants answered.
Oh, were you thinking of running? Well, that should scare a few people!
Democrats? Yes, of course, totally. It should frighten them too.
Actually the question Mother Hen wanted to ask was…
Mr. Obama’s birth certificate? Weren’t you proven wrong about that?
A great victory. Really. When can we expect to see your birth certificate, sir?
No, true, it’s not that there is any suspicion. Your father was born in Germany though?
Just checking. No, not that there is anything wrong with that. Not at all.
And your marks, sir? Isn’t it true that you were sent off to military school because you got in trouble in the private prep school you attended?
Youthful hijinks. Not relevant. Got that.
Actually, there was one more question. The original one, in fact.
Get to the point? Right away. Absolutely.
Mr. Trump, are you prepared to provide written documentation that your hair is real?
Mother Hen thought that you would welcome the opportunity to set the record straight.
Sir, you can’t fire someone who has never worked for you.
At this point the phone line inexplicably went dead.