Posts Tagged ‘goose’

Mother Hen’s Interview With Travel Experts Mort & Lexi

MH: Mother Hen is here at the coop, interviewing Mort Gander and Lexi Goose, a couple who have recently returned from an extended vacation in the United States. Welcome!

Lexi: Pleased to be here, Mother Hen

Mort: Likewise.

MH: Now, you are both Canada geese…

Lexi: A proud Canadian born and bred!

Mort: Ditto

MH: True patriots, that’s wonderful…but you are not only Canadian geese, you are Canada geese.

Lexi: Do you need to see our passports? Is this customs?

Mort: We have nothing to declare. Absolutely nothing!

MH: I just meant your breed is…

Lexi: Branta canadensis

Mort: Me too!

MH: I see. Anyway, tell us about your vacation!

Lexi: We were in a place called Marry-land. It seemed like the right destination after we got hitched, and we have been going there every winter since.

Mort: Nice wetlands.

Lexi: Not far from Washington D.C.

Mort: We made a point of stoppping to poop on the White House lawn.

Lexi: Mort!

Mort: Well we did.

MH: How was your trip home?

Lexi: The bad news is that it was terribly windy and rainy this year, so we had to make a lot of stops.

MH: And the good news?

Lexi: We visited many fascinating locales on the way, such as Frilly…

Mort: I pooped on the Liberty Bell.

Lexi: Mort, you didn’t!

Mort: Yup.

MH: And where else did you stay along the way?

Lexi: We spent a night at Leave-land, on the roof of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Mort: But we didn’t see Elvis. Bummer!

Lexi: No, but we could totally understand why that city is called Leave-land, because after that we left land for a long time.

MH: Oh, you crossed Lake Erie!

Lexi: It was kind of eerie, now that you mention it. Lots of fog…

Mort: Lots and lots

MH: Now I understand you are operating a B & B behind a big box furniture store in London, Ontario.

Lexi: Our little pond is very popular with ducks…

Mort: It’s a puddle.

Lexi: It was where we met, in springtime.

Mort: That’s the only time it has water.

Lexi: Mort, I’m trying to advertise here!

MG: So what you are saying is that your business is a seasonal destination.

Lexi: Precisely

MH: So where to now?

Lexi: Mort and I love the Muskokas.

Mort: Plenty of rich folks there. They have great garbage.

Lexi: Please Mort! We do not eat garbage!

Mort: Well, maybe you don’t, Ms. Fussypants! Then we can aim at their big fat powerboats…

Lexi: Mort has issues with authority.

MH: You think?

This concludes Mother Hen’s interview with devoted couple and avid tourists Mort Gander and Lexi Goose.

Postscript: This is Mother Hen’s close friend, Jodi. This post is partially based in fact.  There are a pair of Canada geese who return each spring to a large puddle behind the Leon’s Furniture store in London, Ontario, Canada, and we dubbed them Mort & Lexi .

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