Posts Tagged ‘Mother Hen’

Cooptown Chickens

Cooptown Chickens

The Cooptown chickens sing this song

No eggs! No eggs!

Ah, the Cooptown yard is one barn long

Not layin’ eggs today!

Goin’ to cluck all night, goin’ to cluck all day,

Well if Farmer Brown won’t give us more

These chickens ain’t gonna lay!

 

The Cooptown roosters sing this song

No fair! No fair!

Ah, the Cooptown roofs they need repair

‘Cause they leak today!

Goin’ to crow all night, goin’ to crow all day,

We’ll drive the Browns around the bend

Just so they won’t delay!

 

Well, our union, the Chickens and Roosters Of the World (CROW) is at it again: fighting for the rights of everyday hens! We will not be taken for granted!

The cry has been raised! More yard! Patched roofs! Better feed!

As usual, Mother Hen is out there in the thick of things, handing out picket signs and rallying the troops.  Management (that would be Farmer Brown and company) refuses to budge on our reasonable demands, but wait until they listen to crowing and cackling 24/7! Then they will come to the bargaining trough soon enough!

What’s that? A lockout? He wouldn’t d… Oh, poop! This is Mother Hen, reporting live (and kicking) from the scene of the strike, heading out to check on new developments in the CROW strike at Farmer Brown’s.

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Mother Hen, Reporting Live

“Mother Hen here, coming to you live from the scene of the barn…well, at least live from the chicken coop roof next to the pig sty beside the barn…to report on this late-breaking story.”

“Here with Mother Hen is Father Rooster, who saw from the roof of the chicken coop…Father Rooster, why don’t you tell our audience in your own words what you saw.”

“Thank you, Mother Hen. I was just sitting on the coop roof, watching the sun go down…”

“Yes, yes, go on…”

“When I saw Cora Cow come out of the barn – she always has the latest news, you know – I saw Cora moo something in Mrs. Hog’s ear, and she went over and snorted to Lily Lamb who bleated to Doug the Duck who flew up and told me…”

“What did Mr. Duck have to say?”

“First he told me that Lily complained something dreadful about Mrs. Hog’s baaad breath, which, as you know is simply revolting at the best of times…”

“The news, please, Father Rooster!”

“I’m getting to that. So Mrs. Hog told Lily Lamb that Cora Cow was nothing but a terrible gossip, but occasionally she has something interesting to report, and this happened to be one of those times…”

“The news, sir. We are still waiting for the news?”

“I’m simply setting the scene.”

“Yes, of course. Please go on.””

“Where was I? Oh, so Cora Cow told Mrs. Hog who told Lily Lamb who told Doug the Duck that there was a new record set here at Farmer Brown’s.”

“A new record? How eggciting! What is it?”

“I can hardly wait to tell you! Mrs. Matilda Cat just had a litter of 13 kittens!”

“That is your news? That’s it? That’s all?”

“What do you mean ‘That’s all’? The previous record was 12, set by Felicity Feline in 1999!”

“Well, there you have it folks. A record-setting litter for Mrs. Cat!”

“Mother Hen, live for Channel Chicken News. Back to you in the newsroom, Carl Crower!

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“After that amazing interview with celebrity Chuck Cluck, you call that news? How embarrassing!!!”

“I thought it was important. A new record…”

“You are so dead when we get home!”

“Um, Mrs. Hen?”

“What is it now?”

“Your mike is still on.”

“It is? Holy caca, there goes the broadcasting career!  See what you’ve done? Father Rooster, you are so totally in the doghouse tonight!”

“Mrs. Hen? Still on.”

Beaver dam!”