Posts Tagged ‘silly’

Minutes of the Coop Improvement Association (CIA) Meeting

Coop Improvement Association (CIA)

 

Minutes

Today

9:00 AM

Farmer Brown’s Barnyard
 
   
Meeting called by Henny Penny  
Type of meeting Hen Session  
Facilitator Chickie Feathers  
Note taker Mother Hen  
Egg Timer Zelda Cluck  
Attendees Everyone Else  
   

Agenda topics

 

10  Minutes

Sky Falling

Henny Penny
 
Discussion Ms. Feathers notes that the sky is still in the same place as yesterday. Ms.  
Penny describes again her vision of the heavens collapsing, crushing all chickens underneath. Ms. Penny moves to  
construct underground shelters . Seconded by Ms. Scraper. Ms. Feathers says chickens are not rabbits.  
Conclusions Motion defeated. Motion made by Ms. Hen that a committee be struck to explore the  
feasibility of scratching out a burrow or two, to be chaired by Ms. Penny, and consisting of Ms. Scraper, Elly  
Egglayer and Bridie Bird. Seconded by Ms. Penny. Motion carried.  
Action items Person responsible Deadline  
Inquiries to be made as to hiring BUDS Bunnies Excavation Inc. Susie Scraper Whenever  
Weather patterns to be charted Bridie Bird Soon  
   

10 minutes

Egg Production

Elly Egglayer
 
Discussion Ms. Egglayer relays her concerns that egg production rates are way down from the    
previous summer. Corneilia  Chickenwire challenges Ms. Egglayer’s statistics, claiming that in her coop egglaying is  
up 21 %. Kerfuffle ensues. Mother Hen moves that new statistics be compiled, seconded by Ms. Chickenwire.  
Conclusions Motion carried. Committee struck to track and record egg production, chaired  
by Mother Hen to include Ms. Egglayer and Ms. Chickenwire. Motion passes, and condolences go to Ms. Hen.  
Ms. Penny suggests that Mrs. Farmer Brown may have accurate numbers, but she is squawked down.  
Action items Person responsible Deadline  
Check with Mrs. Brown anyway Henny Penny Right Away  
Egg production to be charted Corneilia Chickenwire Next Meeting  
       

10 minutes

CaCA Removal

Mother Hen
 
Discussion Ms. Hen claims that the coop area stinks, particularly the coop of a newlywed 
chick who does not understand the rules of caca management. JoJo Jumper objects to this insinuation,
suggesting that the caca of hens of a certain vintage stink more than that of youthful chickens. Bedlam ensues.
Conclusions Ms. Penny restores order, and moves that a committee be struck 
to promote coop maintenance and hygiene. Seconded by Ms. Hen, who offers to chair said committee.
Ms. Jumper objects.  Motion passed anyway.
Action items Person responsible Deadline
Post rules of coop maintenance Mother Hen ASAP
Post rules for caca removal Mother Hen Ditto
 

1 minute

motion to adjourn

JoJo Jumper
Discussion Ms. Jumper makes a motion to adjourn, or at least “end this crappy meeting.”
Zelda Cluck is tired of turning the egg timer, so she seconds the motion.  Motioned passed, Ms. Hen abstains
because she wants to talk more. Motion passed.  Someone wakes up Ms. Feathers and the meeting is adjourned.

Things That Are Stupid

Mother Hen finds strange, silly stuff all the time: on the TV, in her People magazines (How else is a chicken supposed to study human behavior?), in conversations with the house cats, and especially when visiting with her friend Jodi Edwards Wright, who oddly enough, notices a lot of weird things as well.

What confounds MH is how much stupid stuff people see or say every day without remarking on how it is all so bizarre! Mother Hen suggests that more folks get their eyes and ears checked regularly.

  • First, MH must confess that a list of stupid things is in itself stupid, as things can’t be stupid – humans (and occasionally, animals) on the other hand…
  • White cats named Mittens
  • BOGO should be BOGOF*
  • How can people reconcile if they never conciled in the first place?
  • “Arkansas” Why is it pronounced like “ark and saw?” Mother Hen has it on good authority that Noah never lived there.
  • Pink Lego
  • “Borrowed time” Where can MH get some, and what is the interest rate?
  • People looking nonchalant while their dogs go poop
  • Naming body parts  Seriously! That is what the medical profession is there for.
  • Unrefrigerated Jello Cups  This is just wrong, people.
  • Edible oil products Ditto
  • Plastic banana protectors
  • Fake flies on pants or PJs
  • Toy vacuums  Who do you think you’re kidding? Even two-year-olds realize it’s work!
  • Air bands MH may be dating herself, but she remembers when Milli Vanilli got in big trouble for this.
  • Newlyweds smashing cake in each other’s faces  Now there’s a way to start “happily ever after.”
  • Worms They are both male and female and if you slice them they don’t die. Now, doesn’t that sound like some movie starring Sigourney Weaver?
  • Getting autographs from Disney characters
  • Comb-overs
  • Plastic corks Shouldn’t they be called “plorks?” They certainly aren’t cork anymore.
  • “Casual formal” What is that, jeans and a tie?
  • Worst song lists that exclude “Disco Duck”

*Buy One Get One Free

Mother Hen is confident that there will be no shortage of material, should she ever wish to do a “Things That Are Stupid 2.”