Posts Tagged ‘world’

Mother Hen Manages the World Economy

Mother Hen has always advocated for good household management, especially when it comes to financial matters, which is why it is time for her to turn her attention to the world’s current economic woes. There are rules that govern the Coop Family’s budget that certain countries like Grease, Spam, Ironland , and even the good ol’ US of A could learn from.

Here we go!

Don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.

Basically, if you ain’t got it yet, you ain’t got it. No guessing, no hoping, no borrowing the neighbors’ chicks to make it look good to Farmer Brown or anyone else. That’s how overpopulation happens, but that’s another kettle of fish. Sooner or later you have to give those chicks back, and then look how much feed it’s going to cost you!

 Always keep a nest egg, and add to it every week.

Oh, it’s always tempting to have company for dinner and show off your best bib and tucker, but if you eat all your feed in the fall, what is going to keep you through the winter? Just one visit from Mr. & Mrs. Hogg may provide you with a hop up that social ladder, but expensive! Always keep some aside, just in case.

Or in other words, if you want to keep the wolf from the door, you’d better not entertain pigs!

 Be careful when you feather your nest.

Dear ones, no one loves a comfy coop like Mother Hen! Let’s face it, feather pillows, feather quilts, feather boas…she adores them all.

The problem is that you still have to cover your butt, people. Nothing says poverty like a straggly-looking hen with gooseflesh hanging out. It gets mighty cold in the winter when your backside is bare!

Don’t be so busy struttin’ your stuff that you run out of stuffing to strut with!

  Do more than just scratch out a living.

If you are just bringing in enough to get by, you aren’t bringing in enough to get by! Find ways to haul in more, for heaven’s sake!  For instance, Father Rooster has a second job as the school alarm. Mother Hen thanks to her unique, specialized and remarkable abilities is a part-time writer, and that’s not just chickenfeed, folks. (Okay it is, but it shouldn’t be!)

All those You’reAPeein’ countries need to shake a tail feather and get their rears in gear! Even the Americans need to quite singing Yankee Doodle Dandee, stick a feather in their caps, and coop-erate, for heaven’s sake, before all their chickens come home to roost, since their rafters are full already!

 

This has been a public service announcement from Mother Hen’s Nest.

 

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Mother Hen Sets the World to Rights. You’re Welcome.

Mother Hen worries a lot, as mother hens tend to do.

Will Father Rooster get up in time to wake up the farm? Will Missy Hen quit flirting with all the young roosters long enough to graduate? Did Junior take off his football helmet before he went to bed?

Unlike most chickens, though, Mother Hen worries about the state of the world too.

Is climate change going to fry all the world’s chickens? Will the uncertainty of the global economy destroy Mother Hen’s nest egg?  Will Republicans and Democrats quit playing “chicken” with the financial future of the United States?

If everyone simply listened to Mother Hen, this would be a better world.

“Oh, really?” you say, only because you are not yet fully acquainted with the depth and power of MH’s years of accumulated wisdom.

Yes, really.

Father Rooster needs to set his clock radio that Mother H. generously got him for his Hatching Day present.

Missy Hen should wear her glasses so she can use her eyes for something other than eyelash-batting.

Junior Rooster, let’s face it, needs to learn self-defense before he can ever dream of playing defense.

Now, the politicians would like to have you believe that saving the world is much, much harder than running a family coop. Poppycock!!!!

Mother Hen humbly contributes the following brilliant insights.

Build around trees, not over them.  Fine for every viable tree cut down.

Give tax breaks to companies, small businesses and homes that use green energy to go off the grid, as well as companies that help everyone to produce clean energy.

Reduce insurance rates for people who regularly use public transportation.

Cut business taxes proportionally to number of new full-time hires.

Cut sales taxes on domestically produced merchandise.

Re-direct the military toward more peacekeeping and disaster assistance. Acts of aggression, towards any country or one’s own citizens, is to be met with pre-established UN protocols and discipline, including suspension of participation in international organizations.

Suspend or reduce salaries of congress and senate first if US government funding is cut off, with salary and bonuses tied to domestic prosperity indexes.

Personal taxes should be geared to income.  If you have money and property, you contribute. If you don’t, you get a break. There are enough natural incentives to pursue financial success without penalizing the poor for being poor and rewarding the rich further for being rich. This is not communism, folks, for Pete’s sake! This is The Golden Rule. Mother Hen has spoken!

So, there are just a few kernels of wisdom from Mother Hen’s plentiful silo.

It is high time more politicians put MH on speed dial.